Independence Day

Alright, the moment you've all been waiting for: a full account of the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest on the 4th of July, which I attended. More than a week later, the first 3 words that spring to mind about this event are: hot, hilarious, and insane. We got to Brighton Beach (which is adjacent to Coney Island) around 8:45 am, at which point only parents with little kids and elderly couples were around, but we walked through the sand and waves for awhile, which I love to do.
Here's some documentation:

Note: this is about 4 hours before I get a pretty bad sunburn, but what kind of nerd wears black to the beach? I'm kinda asking to bake myself... Also Coney Island is visible a bit in the background.

For those of you who don't know, the Hot Dog Contest has of late turned into a contest mainly between two men, Joey Chestnut (America) and Takeru Kobayashi (Japan). Kobayashi was the reigning champion for many years, but Chestnut has won the last two. And what does this have to do with American independence, I hear you asking? (I was telling one of my English flatmates about it, and she suggested that nothing is more American than gratuitous eating. Fair point.) According to wikipedia there was a four man eating contest in Coney Island on July 4th, 1916 to decide which man was most patriotic. The winner ate 13 hot dogs in 10 minutes. The winner in 2009? 68 hot dogs. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

We got to the pavilion/platform on the corner of Surf and Stillwell around 10 am and saw some interesting characters: a bunch of frat-boy types who I'm pretty sure did not go to bed the night before, dressed as Abe Lincoln and Uncle Sam And Uncle Sam on Stilts, while on stage rocked a band from Jersey, "Brooklyn's Own Little Jimmy" dressed as Uncle Sam, and not one but TWO dancing hot dogs. The announcer appeared, resplendent in a bow-tie and straw boater hat, and the nonsense commenced. And by "nonsense," I mean dancing dogs, a man named Amos singing hot dog themed songs (attempts to rhyme "Kobayashi" and "noshing" were made), the "Coney Island strongman" lying on a bed of nails while holding an anvil, which his sons then beat with hammers, and people flying through the air on trampolines. The fairly extensive police detail were also funny--they kept sneakily taking pictures of themselves with the trophy and daring each other to pick it up.


Coney Island is in jeopardy from developers who want to shut down the amusement park and put up condos or something gross like that. This fact was noted by the announcer, who said (or rather, yelled), that "They say in the papers that Coney Island is dead!! Look around you now!! [I do. By noon, 50,000 people have filled the street behind me.] Coney Island is NOT DEAD!! Coney Island is not the buildings, it is the people!! And we're 50,000 strong, so if they want to come take us, TAKE US NOW!!" Everyone starts chanting, "take us now! take us now!" and a rapper named "Badlands" Booker (who we later find out is an eating contestant AND a subway driver) starts rapping "we stand stronger than 50 thou, if you wanna come take us take us now!!" It was awesome. So help me, I love things like this in the same way I love County Fairs and fireworks.

Then the announcer, who is earning his salary and then some, says, "when the Grinch came down the mountain, he took all the Whos roast beast!! And yet, the Whos were still singin' round the Christmas tree the next morning. Like the Whos, Coney Islanders will not give up!! CONEY ISLAND WILL RISE AGAIN!!" His oratorical skills were even more evident when he was introducing the contestants, with gems like "the Black Widow, the world record-holder for the most cranberry sauce consumed, is one of the four Horsewomen of the Esophagus," or "he is a culinary genius--he even knows why it's called couscous and not just cous." Joey Chestnut won, but that almost seemed irrelevant by that point. Here's a shot of the *glory* of competitive eating, and the announcer on a very tall podium.


Would I go again? It was a LONG time standing in the sun, but it was definitely the most exciting thing I've ever done on the 4th. And as the announcer put it, "the battle of good and evil pales in comparison to what we will witness today."

And in honor of another day of Independence, Happy Bastille Day!