Perks of Being an Art History Major

Art History? What are you going to do with THAT?!
--my dental hygienist (and about 50 other people in my hometown)

I always think you people are nice to have at parties. You bring a classy air to gatherings. I think art historians are good conversationalists.
--my OB-GYN

We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely. All art is quite useless.
--Oscar Wilde, Preface to The Picture of Dorian Gray

If I were planning on making pots of money (which I'm not), I would be in the wrong line of work. I gravitate towards jobs in institutions which tend to have small or variable budgets (libraries, museums, liberal arts), which is not conducive to saving up, or buying things. However, a friend in high school (who went to college for violin performance) used to say that we wouldn't be rich, but we would sure be interesting, and I like to pretend that is true. And although my paycheck is tiny, the perks are sometimes big. Here are some things to tell people when they quiz you about what you are doing with your life:

1. Free Stuff. With my museum ID badge I can get into any NYC museum fo' free, which is actually pretty nice. Especially for MOMA, where the ticket takers tend to be snippy, and it costs $20. Granted, I should be willing to give money to these institutions, but it makes me feel less guilty if I just stop in for an hour or so. And I can sneak in guests. I also get half-price tickets at the Brooklyn Academy of Music, and discounts in all museum stores.

2. Solitude. For an art nerd, it is REALLY nice to be alone when looking at art. I'm one of those annoying people who is taking notes or getting really close to things and getting yelled at by museum guards, so really, you probably don't want to be there with me anyway. On Mondays and Tuesdays I really like walking to my office because I have the European wing to myself, and I can examine things like a loon and not have any witnesses.

3. Openings. Art show openings are not normally my scene, because I'm a terrible networker. The exception to this was at school, because then I always had my friends to talk to and it was fun and low-pressure, but now it's slightly different. I don't know much about contemporary anything, and if I have to talk to strangers (and offer opinions, ack) I tend to smile a lot out of nervousness and play with my hair. This is one of the many reasons why I do not want to be a curator! But I put on some mascara and went to one last night, which was actually pretty fun. A few co-workers and I went to happy hour first and then returned to the show, which is called "Who Shot Rock 'n Roll" and is a collection of rock photographs. The reception had dj's and drinks and food and a performance by Blondie, which was worth it.* Debbie Harry is 60ish now, but she is still a total rocker babe. And they performed for free, which is super nice. (A bit of self-promotion for them, too...her partner, Chris Stein, is also in the band and is one of the photographers featured.) And it was cool to see the paintings in context with all the swirling lights and swirling people around them.

If you like art and art history, then all of these things are auxiliary, but they are nice. And let's be honest, I have an easier time explaining myself to people than philosophy majors do (what DO you say if you're a philosophy major and people are quizzing you about your future plans? "I'm going to think." Maybe this is why I, too, find most philosophy majors I've met kinda insufferable.) And honestly, how many economics majors end up doing exactly what they planned? None. And I think that is how it should be. For me, not much beats seeing something or learning something interesting that I didn't know about before, and that is worth it.

*"for Blondie, some Blondie." Mom, I thought I would reference your fav movie.