Hiya, Gorgeous

"How you doin', gorgeous?" said the man in the faded blue shirt and khakis tonight as I was on customer service/information detail at work. "Thanks babe," said another. I've gotten called honey, hon, sweetie, sweetheart, dearie, baby, mommy (that by my Hispanic co-worker, who calls all women "mommy"), kid, ma'am, girlie, miss, and my favorite--doll. That one came from a Long Island Transit worker (and no, I'm not making sweeping assumptions about his job based on his accent and the amount of hair gel he was using: he was wearing a Transit shirt.)

I don't know how to respond to this. I have worked retail before, but in a stoic community, prone to angry outburts about the cost of newspaper, but not prone to terms of endearment. A big part of me probably thinks I should be offended. I mean, getting called "ma'am" makes me feel old, and "baby" makes me feel like a malleable little girl, neither of which fits me. And when people do use my name (since I have to wear a name-tag), they usually mispronounce it. Yet, I am a total hypocrite about this, because 1.) I am a big fan of terms of endearment, and routinely direct them at my friends and family, particular "sugar." and 2.) I only like being called things other than my name by people who have known me forever, or are endearing, or are related to me. (Oddly, for someone with a fairly short name, I have quite a few nicknames, which I have no problems with.) Having those different, special, sweet names for people makes for connection and attachment and inside jokes, which is why you DON'T go around calling strangers "honey." At least I don't.

But darn it all, it is kind of nice to get called "doll," even if it is by someone you don't know. When I was living in Norwich, there was this one completely awesome bus driver with a pink mohawk who used to refer to me (and every other woman, most likely) either as luv or darlin' or dearie. And let me tell you, that bus driver always lifted my mood--but maybe that was because of the English accent.

Perhaps I don't hate these words from strangers because I keep thinking that my time for this treatment is waning. You get to a certain age when people stop calling you "sweetie." Soon enough, I will be getting respect and distance, instead of so-called compliments like "you're lookin' good today, babe" from people I don't even know. And I know, deep down, that respect is a much better thing. But for the moment...just call me gorgeous.