5 Annoying Things Overheard in Museums Lately

Prepare yourself for some self-indulgent whining. But I'm sorta grumpy, because three of my cousins have injured themselves in fairly major, cast-needing ways in the past three days (gracefulness: a family trait!!), and I was going to the beach today and then there were dangerous riptides, and it's been 95 for the past week and we don't have air conditioning. Whew.

So, here is some general art history snobbery. I am a nerd and take notes in museums, so all these incidents are lovingly documented for you, lucky readers.

1.) The scene: Metropolitan Museum of Art, Caravaggio's Denial of Saint Peter (c. 1610) Here is an image. It should be noted that I have above-average attachment to this painting, due in part to a very wonderful class on Caravaggio (plus the fact that Caravaggio is straight-up awesome), and so was a bit disheartened to hear the woman next to me say, "Hmph. Kinda dark, isn't it?" before walking away. And when I say "a bit disheartened," I mean, "I wanted to punch her in the head." And then I wanted to tell her to look at Peter's hands. And the lines on his forehead. Instead, I put my headphones on.

2.) The scene: Metropolitan Museum of Art, the room with the Rothkos (for general Rothko-ness, see here.) No less than four groups of people said, "pssh. I could do this. It's just boxes!" Yeah, but DID you do it? DID you think of it, and mix the paints, and feel the way the brush moved on the canvas, and the way the colors looked together? NO. Rothko did. So zip it.

3.) The scene: Metropolitan Museum of Art, I think in the one of the early-Renaissance Dutch rooms--but it doesn't really matter. A woman on her phone walked by me (without looking at anything on the walls, mind) and said, "yes, well, I'm trying to hurry. I'm taking her for her doggy pedicure today." This would annoy me normally (dogs don't NEED pedicures!) but c'mon. Look around and better your inner-being or something.

4.) The scene: Museum of the City of New York (review to follow, sometime!), exhibit on Henry Hudson's New York. Two ten year-old boys were looking at a map and talking about it, and pointing at things, and being excited. The tour guide came over from across the room and yelled at them for talking during her tour, which they weren't even on. You think she would have been happy that they were interested in the exhibit, but apparently hearing her was more important.

5.) The scene: Brooklyn Museum, design section on the third floor. There was an exhibit on plates, one set of which featured a nude Eve, complete with apple and serpent. Here are some images of them. (note: I think these plates are super cool.) Two young women, about my age, were looking at them, and one said, "why would you want plates with Venus on them? And why is there a serpent?" And the other said, "serpents are fertility things. I don't know why Venus would have had an apple though." And then they left, none the wiser about the differences between Venus...and Eve.